Thursday, October 08, 2009
I think that I am in a severe depression. Nothing is really bad, except for my fatigue and pouchitis and that is on the mend. But nothing is really uplifting either.
I am not going to the shore tonight because I am too lazy to drive the 7 1/2 hours. Even the ocean is not a big enough draw. There is much for me to do around the house and a four day weekend will be such a luxury.
Mike and I are getting along well enough but it has fallen into the same routine as Ron and I. We eat together, spend television time in separate rooms, sleep together as long as I am sleeping, otherwise, I go into another room to watch tv. We don't work well together on home projects. At least Ron and I worked well together. That is a sour point. Also, no sex life.
Work is a bore and my morale is very low. It is just counting the minutes until 4:15 and collecting my paycheck. This can't go on too much longer as I surely will get fired. I rarely talk with anyone and I am not walking regularly since I got sick in June!
I don't hear from my son, rarely from my ex-daughter-in-law. Bruce and I rarely talk on the phone or see one another. I talk with Diane in Tennessee once a month or so but, of course, I see her only if I go and visit, about once every seven years!
I really don't have any friends. I call some on a sporadic basis but they never call me without me calling them first so I guess I am letting go of them too now.
My house and yard and kitty and dog do bring me some joy. But they are so much work.
All the lonely people. Where do they all come from? That is me. Eleanor Rigby - but at least I am not picking up rice where the wedding has been. But what am I doing?
Rosalind 11:54 AM
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