Sunday, September 15, 2002
I had seen the Dead Zone episode, so I decided to "go round" as I say to the dogs. We walk around the yard. Approximately six turns is about 1 mile. Walking at least 30 minutes a day is my latest resolution. I have been doing so regularly since Carol (my friend from work) retired at the end of May, although I started during my convalescence for my broken arms. No weight loss, but I think inches have dropped off and my stamina is better.
It was raining so I took an umbrella. Christopher stuck it out the whole way so he got pretty damp. Barkie ran to greet Ron when he heard his diesel pickup coming up the driveway after dropping Kimberly off at the barn. He rejoined us for the last two laps after Ron came out to sit on the covered front porch. Right now I am still hot and sweaty and a new episode I haven't seen is on.
Listening to the pattering of the rain on my umbrella during the walk, took me back to the summer of 1971 or 1972 . My ex-husband, my former apartment mate / bridesmaid, her husband and I went on a two week canoe trip to the Adirondacks. We went into a cycle, canoed one day, climbed a mountain the second day and rested on the third. Every third day it rained, our rest day. Richard, who a few years later joined the Hari Krishna and reneged on his fatherly and husbandly duties, was furious that we had brought a heavy tent and tarp. And rightly so, but we were glad that we had them on those rainy days. We sat inside a good part of the day and played cards or cribbage.
That trip turned out to be a trip of my lifetime. I will never forget the black flies and how they swarmed. One bit my butt at our hole in the ground latrine! It was painful! I am glad that no one really got hurt. I remember being a bit anxious when we were deep in the wilderness. What if Dave broke his leg or something. But we got back ok.
I had had that same fear a few years earlier when I took a walk in the hills surrounding my college campus. I tried to take a short cut and found myself fighting to find a way through the thorny shurbs that pulled at my clothes.
Interestingly, I had that same sort of experience just a few years ago. I was walking the dogs and I decided to make a big circle in the neighoring area. I walked deep into a field that made a dead end at a bushy area. I tried to get through but it was too dense. I got scratched up and dirty and had to walk back through the field to get home. I remembered the incident of the thorny shrubs during my college days then too.
And now I am reminded of my recurring childhood dream of being stuck on my bed, like glue, not being able to move, And that reminds me of multiple sclerosis that my friend Lynn and my brother suffer and suffered from. Which takes me to my own idiopathic neuropathy. My feet, my mouth, not numb, they feel pain, but strange sensations. Hot, tingly, also like a heavy mitt covering my feet or a thick coating on my tongue and gums. Very unpleasant.
But this is Mind Bleed.
Rosalind 2:03 PM
"Today, be resolved to keep developing patience, creativity, emotional independence, confidence, courage, humor, serene empowerment, calm
persistence, self-mastery, unconditional love and compassion."
Worthy tasks. This blog is my shot at creativity. I will probably pass on the others today. It is raining or at least drizzling. I really haven't checked but the cat went out and came back in a short while. His fur was damp. I heard some pattering on the metal basement door cover, one of those that slant out from the house at a thiry degree angle and have stairs that lead down to the vertical door into the basement. So I have decided that today is a veg out day. I am watching The Dead Zone marathon right now.
Yesterday I spent time trying to figure out how to describe the wind blowing through the trees. I listened to the silence. A few crickets chirped in the heavy air and there was the rumble of a passing truck in the background. Then the slight rustle of the outermost leaves of the closest tree revealed the presence of a current of air. I watched and listened as the breeze built up strength, visible as more branches moved, audible as the rustling intensified. Then a crescendo and a diminuendo as the gust passed by.
Sometimes the breeze would move from tree to tree like a wave on a lake or a human wave in a stadium. But more often it seemed erratic, some tree branches moved while other branches on the same tree did not and others on another tree shook. It deserves more study.
It is difficult to find other words or analogies for the rustling of leaves. It is such a basic sound. I love it. I often think of how Heidi (from the book by the same name) used to listen to the wind in the fir trees from her loft bedroom in her grandfather's house.
Let's see... murmur, whisper, shush, hiss, sigh, the swooshing of crinolines from Scarlett's gown, the crumpling of a plastic bag. The last is pretty bad and not nearly as comforting, but the sound is so similar!
Well, so much for creativity.
Rosalind 11:40 AM
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
Today is September 11, 2002. The sky is blue like last year, but there is a strong wind, bringing in the cooler air to replace the 93 degree heat of yesterday. Large clouds, still white and fluffy, coat the western horizon. The large weeping willow in the neighboring yard of my workplace blows wildly, its branches like dreadlocks on the head of a frenzied dancer. But Blue Mountain stands stoically to the north, keeping guard over the Harrisburg plain.
Last year I was dozing on and off as the morning news droned in the background. I was nursing a broken right wrist and a broken left forearm after being bucked off my horse (whom I have since sold), and was working only half-days. I remember waking with a sudden alertness to the news that the World Trade Center was on fire. I watched in horror. I called some people at work to tell them of the news, apprehensive yet satisfied that I was home able to follow the unfolding events. The TV has been on all night, every night, ever since.
There is fear that an attack could take place here. My home is only 15 miles from Three Mile Island. Three Mile Island is near our "International" airport and has a certain notoriety, probably enough to make it an out of the ordinary target. Although I realize that there is nothing that I can do, a layer of anxiety wraps around daily, mundane events and I think about how I would evacuate the area, how I would care for my dogs and cat, how I would get Kimberly from school, where Ron would be...
My son, and not out of character for him, has chosen to fly through last night into this morning. He returns on Friday the 13th, his 29th birthday. At my insistence he did call me from the airport to give me flight information.
I did not watch news shows last night, although I did this morning. Right now I am listening to NPR. The commentator asks, "How have we changed?" I will ponder that in another blog.
Rosalind 8:34 AM
Saturday, September 07, 2002
I took the dogs for a walk along "my country road". It is down the hill from my home and meanders along the creek then up a hill along a farm where drought-stunted corn is growing this year.
At a certain point the road cuts through a wooded section with neighboring homes far enough away to give the illusion of wilderness. The canopy of tall trees shade the road here and birds are usually chattering. But today it is eerily quiet for an early moring. Only on the way back did I hear the raucous vocalizations of sparring blue jays and a few unknown chitters. (Has West Nile killed the birds?) I haven't walked along the road most of the summer because of the heat and West Nile. It is particularly buggy at this section of road, but not today.
We move to the berm for the occasional passing car or pickup truck. Patti, the black lab wearing the invisible fence collar, who lives on a corner property, greets us at the edge of her boundary. We walk over, the dogs for a sniff while I stroke her head and chest as she leans against my legs.
The dogs had just had a bath at the kennel so I didn't let them swim in the creek. It is a little chilly anyway so they are not overheated.
At the crest of the hill by the farm, the trees are cleared and the sun is hot. I notice the wild flowers growing at the edge of the road, blue chicory, mauve clover, white Queen Anne's lace, an occasional yellow bloom of a dandilion. The dogs want to go into the fields but I don't let them because of ticks. So we stick to the road and turn around at telephone pole that marks the beginning of the downward slope of the other side of the hill. Patti is not outside on the return trip.
I stop and let the dogs off their leashes at the bottom of the driveway and make a faggot of downed sycamore branches scattered around its trunk, securing them with one of the leashes. Christopher is not a help, jumping up trying to snag one of the hoisted branch in his jaws. Sometimes he succeeds pulling the bunch downward but I have learned to expect it and keep firm grip. I have a compost heap where my property slopes steeply down to the road. There used to be heavy erosion here, but since I have started heaping branches, leaves and weeding cuttings there, that has stopped.
The three of us are tired. I am typing on my laptop in my adjustable bed and the dogs are sleeping amidst the pillows piled on the bed to protect our actual sleeping pillows. Barkus is truly exhausted and sleeping with a soft, rasping breath. Chris could be more active but he is resting because we are and occasionally looks over at me to see if I am ready to get up. He was the one who insisted that I take them for a walk. I wanted to stay in bed but he barked and nudged until I got up!
I am glad that he did.
Rosalind 11:24 AM
Wednesday, September 04, 2002
Here I am on a beautiful day at Myrtle Beach. The sky is blue and cloudless, The surf is coming in and the beach is mostly empty at this time. Earlier the sun danced on the waves sparkling like fairy dust. The angle is not quite right now. Kimberly and Ron arrived home yesterday and I head for home tomorrow morning.
Soon I will take a walk along the surf. I am waiting for the heat of the sun to diminish. I got up early this morning and walked to the Food Lion. I bought a jug of water and some medicine for the water blister on my back. (The heater in my seat car did this!) I found a hair salon and had my hair cut. This afternoon, I spent time resting and eating up some of the food we carried down here from PA.
I enjoyed this vacation. The Ripley's aquarium was a wonderful thing. Broadway at the Beach on the whole was rather nice. I will never forget the huge catfish and carp rising out of the water to get some of the fish food we threw in the water. Quite a sight!
The beach here is quite beautiful. It is tightly packed and great for walking. I love the pounding of the surf on the beach, the continuous roar. The white noise puts you in a spiritual frame of mind. If only I could discover some meaning in my life. But that is another blog.
Rosalind 3:29 PM
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